I want to capture some of those tiny insignificant things that actually make Uganda and Africa special to me.
Winged invaders and their predators
In early December our land was suddenly overrun by clouds of grasshoppers. It still has large swathes of mixed grasses, their favourite haunt. Bright green, these insects were gliding in uncontrolled frenzy from one clump to another. The sky was tinged with emerald. Within minutes Akaloosa Children’s Village (private!!) was overrun by another creature in its wake – humans! All of Bulega’s inhabitants seemed to have also reached a state of frenzy and homed in to our land! In their case it was an insatiable longing ………. to eat the grasshoppers! In fact, roasted I think they are absolutely wonderful and crunchy, although admittedly it is an acquired taste! Children and parents alike were running around screaming with delight, seemingly totally unaware of their uncontrolled excitement and noise! For me it awoke memories of holidays in Brittany and the mid-afternoon descent upon the beaches by the locally holidaying Parisians, with their shrimp nets, winkle and muscle buckets. Happy memories; joyous times. Again, revolving around acquired taste - the sense of transition into adulthood as one ate and actually enjoyed the sort of things that normally only adults would be expected to eat. Two days later and our site was deserted once again … it was like waking from a dream. Why is it that such creatures evoke such amazing moments? If only we could ‘pot’ and give away free this joyous elation – the world could be made safe again.
Safari ants and their prey
The major threat to human peace and tranquillity on Akaloosa Children’s Village farm is not snakes - of which there are quite a few – but safari ants. These tiny (in fact not so tiny, come to think of it!) creatures exist in their millions, and periodically decide to safari (Swahili for ‘go on a trip’). Beware! They are everywhere! Get in their way and one will never forget it. Of course one doesn’t do it deliberately. Being brown/black, and moving in a long, thin, meandering line - only three or four ants wide – they blend beautifully into the background. And I don’t always remember to walk around intently staring at the ground! In my last incident I was helping unload sacks of chicken manure from the Hilux truck by our huge Muwafu Tree. Seconds later I was aware of creeping upwards sensation from my ankles up to my groin of myriad mandibles sinking deep into my flesh! For a man I can only say that this is the nearest thing to the ultimate in nightmares. But unfortunately this was no dream, but real! Now that I am relatively used to it (did I really say that?) I no longer strip to the underwear as an involuntary response, but have learnt the more subtle (ha!) squeezing and swatting of the clothing to the flesh with massive blows and clasping actions, whilst leaping metres into the air, hollering and screaming. The running around, leaping and gasping with pain is no doubt hugely funny to the distant viewer, but it is in such times that men bond together at a level and intensity rarely experienced, especially in Uganda!! For we alone know just how humiliating and awful it all is……
More about ants: drum beats
At other times one is walking through Akaloosa ….. and suddenly there is a shimmering, humming, hissing, rattling vibration emanating from the undergrowth all around. The first time it happened I thought I was imaging it, or that it was a rattle snake (not in Uganda!). Then I noticed that it stopped as I froze ….. and started again the moment I moved. After the fear had died down (Africa can still be a dangerous and frightening place to be alone in at times!) I peered down, having first done the safari-ant check, only to realise that the entire area was infested with millions of some other type of ant, each of which was somehow vibrating its immediate blade of grass or piece of bark or whatever else each was hanging on to. Like a thousand tiny castanets, the entire ground seemed to oscillate. Another amazing cameo act that probably no-one else notices, but for me makes this place so incredible.
Showing off ... it must be love doing its thing, babe
I must have been created with a curiosity that makes me fascinated with things that no-one else seems to note. The other day we were sitting close to the veranda under the shade of a tree, when I became aware of the most intense bird song and, out of the corner of my eye, darting movements deep in the dark green canopy of the Jack Fruit tree above. The sound was so intense that I just assumed that everyone with me was captivated by it too. But, as is often the case I alone seemed to notice! As I infinitesimally slowly shifted my position I saw the most bizarre dance taking place of a tiny male bird before his beloved! The dance consisted of vibrating his wings hundreds of times a second and then making a lunge vertically upwards towards his intended, stopping inches off her face and then shooting back down to the same twig, to start over again. This sequence took between 1 and 2 seconds each time, with perfect timing, such was its intensity. After a few minutes I could contain myself no longer. I pointed it out to one of our Ugandan ‘mothers’ sitting next to me, who was absolutely bewitched by it, almost certainly something that had taken place within her vicinity thousands of times in her life without noticing!
Signs of madness?
Only in Uganda? Crazy company names abound on shop fronts: ‘Praise the Lord Beauticians’; ‘Hallelujah Electricians’; ‘Jesus is Lord Hairdressers’; ‘Cannot Be Beaten Carpenters’; ‘Bethlehem baby clothes’; Emmanuel Pipes and Solvents’. Of course the spelling is normally wrong, but if I typed it like they write it you would be worried! However, I saw the best one the other day just by Owino Market in Kampala. I first noted the company name: “Jesus Saves”, and then realised that it had a second line that followed in the same type face and weight. In fact the whole sign read: “Jesus Saves Garments and Fabrics”!
Winged invaders and their predators
In early December our land was suddenly overrun by clouds of grasshoppers. It still has large swathes of mixed grasses, their favourite haunt. Bright green, these insects were gliding in uncontrolled frenzy from one clump to another. The sky was tinged with emerald. Within minutes Akaloosa Children’s Village (private!!) was overrun by another creature in its wake – humans! All of Bulega’s inhabitants seemed to have also reached a state of frenzy and homed in to our land! In their case it was an insatiable longing ………. to eat the grasshoppers! In fact, roasted I think they are absolutely wonderful and crunchy, although admittedly it is an acquired taste! Children and parents alike were running around screaming with delight, seemingly totally unaware of their uncontrolled excitement and noise! For me it awoke memories of holidays in Brittany and the mid-afternoon descent upon the beaches by the locally holidaying Parisians, with their shrimp nets, winkle and muscle buckets. Happy memories; joyous times. Again, revolving around acquired taste - the sense of transition into adulthood as one ate and actually enjoyed the sort of things that normally only adults would be expected to eat. Two days later and our site was deserted once again … it was like waking from a dream. Why is it that such creatures evoke such amazing moments? If only we could ‘pot’ and give away free this joyous elation – the world could be made safe again.
Safari ants and their prey
The major threat to human peace and tranquillity on Akaloosa Children’s Village farm is not snakes - of which there are quite a few – but safari ants. These tiny (in fact not so tiny, come to think of it!) creatures exist in their millions, and periodically decide to safari (Swahili for ‘go on a trip’). Beware! They are everywhere! Get in their way and one will never forget it. Of course one doesn’t do it deliberately. Being brown/black, and moving in a long, thin, meandering line - only three or four ants wide – they blend beautifully into the background. And I don’t always remember to walk around intently staring at the ground! In my last incident I was helping unload sacks of chicken manure from the Hilux truck by our huge Muwafu Tree. Seconds later I was aware of creeping upwards sensation from my ankles up to my groin of myriad mandibles sinking deep into my flesh! For a man I can only say that this is the nearest thing to the ultimate in nightmares. But unfortunately this was no dream, but real! Now that I am relatively used to it (did I really say that?) I no longer strip to the underwear as an involuntary response, but have learnt the more subtle (ha!) squeezing and swatting of the clothing to the flesh with massive blows and clasping actions, whilst leaping metres into the air, hollering and screaming. The running around, leaping and gasping with pain is no doubt hugely funny to the distant viewer, but it is in such times that men bond together at a level and intensity rarely experienced, especially in Uganda!! For we alone know just how humiliating and awful it all is……
More about ants: drum beats
At other times one is walking through Akaloosa ….. and suddenly there is a shimmering, humming, hissing, rattling vibration emanating from the undergrowth all around. The first time it happened I thought I was imaging it, or that it was a rattle snake (not in Uganda!). Then I noticed that it stopped as I froze ….. and started again the moment I moved. After the fear had died down (Africa can still be a dangerous and frightening place to be alone in at times!) I peered down, having first done the safari-ant check, only to realise that the entire area was infested with millions of some other type of ant, each of which was somehow vibrating its immediate blade of grass or piece of bark or whatever else each was hanging on to. Like a thousand tiny castanets, the entire ground seemed to oscillate. Another amazing cameo act that probably no-one else notices, but for me makes this place so incredible.
Showing off ... it must be love doing its thing, babe
I must have been created with a curiosity that makes me fascinated with things that no-one else seems to note. The other day we were sitting close to the veranda under the shade of a tree, when I became aware of the most intense bird song and, out of the corner of my eye, darting movements deep in the dark green canopy of the Jack Fruit tree above. The sound was so intense that I just assumed that everyone with me was captivated by it too. But, as is often the case I alone seemed to notice! As I infinitesimally slowly shifted my position I saw the most bizarre dance taking place of a tiny male bird before his beloved! The dance consisted of vibrating his wings hundreds of times a second and then making a lunge vertically upwards towards his intended, stopping inches off her face and then shooting back down to the same twig, to start over again. This sequence took between 1 and 2 seconds each time, with perfect timing, such was its intensity. After a few minutes I could contain myself no longer. I pointed it out to one of our Ugandan ‘mothers’ sitting next to me, who was absolutely bewitched by it, almost certainly something that had taken place within her vicinity thousands of times in her life without noticing!
Signs of madness?
Only in Uganda? Crazy company names abound on shop fronts: ‘Praise the Lord Beauticians’; ‘Hallelujah Electricians’; ‘Jesus is Lord Hairdressers’; ‘Cannot Be Beaten Carpenters’; ‘Bethlehem baby clothes’; Emmanuel Pipes and Solvents’. Of course the spelling is normally wrong, but if I typed it like they write it you would be worried! However, I saw the best one the other day just by Owino Market in Kampala. I first noted the company name: “Jesus Saves”, and then realised that it had a second line that followed in the same type face and weight. In fact the whole sign read: “Jesus Saves Garments and Fabrics”!
Branding and cloning in Uganda
In our area most Ugandans pronounce an 'L' and an 'R'. So the other day I saw a cloned version of a Philipps iron under the name 'Phirips' !! Ho HO. Happy Christmas
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